Life Backstage in the Green Room

Stewart Cockburn

Kelsey van Dyken, Reporter
May 8, 2012
Filed under Opinion, Top Stories

When you are sitting in the high school auditorium and enjoying the production that is before you, most people typically don’t think about what’s going on behind the scenes. With fifty high stressed people crammed into one little room, the green room, the stress and anger levels are sure to be high. So when you are applauding the amazing performance, you are also applauding the amazing abilities of being able to contain emotions back stage.

If you like breathing chemical filled air, come on down to the green room, or just head to Seattle for the day.

If you enjoy cleaning up people’s garbage after 10:30 at night, come on down to the green room and help me out.

If the same gossip every night sounds appealing to you, come on down to the green room where you will hear it all.

If you enjoy changing your whole outfit in less than 45 seconds, come on down to the green room; we are setting records.

If it’s normal to see fellow actors back away from you because your costume is dangerous, come on down to the green room. Watch out for moving hats.

If blood, sweat, and tears are something you enjoy seeing regularly, come on down to the green room.

When all you have left to do is everything, come on down to the green room because you will find a lot of everything there.

If your homework piles up on a daily basis, come on down to the green room so you don’t feel left out.

If you enjoy hanging out with friends when they are tired, come on down to the green room, where you can find a shoulder to sleep on.

When burnt popcorn is the only smell that fills the air, blame it on the green room; it happens every night.

If that one hair on your little head just won’t stay where you put it, come on down to the green room. We have hair gel.

When you need some new makeup techniques, come on down to the green room. We have many qualified people.

If your brain feels like it’s about to burst, avoiding the green room is good.

If you need someone to talk to, don’t come to the green room. We aren’t supposed to talk.

If you love theater and are considering being a part of it, avoid the green room. It may turn you away.

And finally, if you absolutely need to find something to do, come to the green room and save me!

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